NS: I'd like to know what you had in mind with all of these mirrors.
AC: In relation to the mirrors, there's the outward projection of outward vulnerability, the "school girl" outfit, etc. but there's a place inside that the others 'can't' touch. The distinction between sex/lovemaking and pornography, I think, is just this, that there is this internalization, "fucking them" as a sign of your own ability to have sex with anyone-- and it doesn't mean anything. Now, this isn't quite the distinction that Joyce made, but he was thinking aesthetically there, and I'm thinking psychologically.
NS: What are you trying to say, here?
AC: I don't know... To someone that has been violated at some point, I think this detachment is psychologically prominent and incredibly important for retaining some semblance of self-identification. There is a certain revenge in holding your desirability over someone. They can have your body, but that's it. Maybe it's easier, in this mindset, to say "yes" than it is to say "no."
NS: What do you mean?
AC: I mean that direct experience has proven that. We create our behavior from our beliefs, and our beliefs, at least early in life, are learned from experience. I had this specifically in mind when I did the series of mirrors, etc. on the far left hand side, as well as the blue, very wispy girl/thought-image on the lower left hand side. The latter I was thinking of as the "bitch queen" (I'm thinking of Norse mythology here), that is personified as icy and indifferent. Notice, however, that she's looking down at the image you so like with the little Asian girl being assaulted with that huge penis. Also notice that above that is a fractured image of genitalia, (male), being constricted by vice clamps. You can see her sentiments there.
NS: Would you give us a tour of the image?
AC: You could just look for yourself, but sure. Looking at some of the other images, the girl in the middle (the actual "sex act" taking place, I think of all the other images as thought-objects occurring in her mind at that moment), is fractured, distorted, clouded over. Only one part of her cheek is unfiltered and pink. Slightly to the right of that, she has the image in her mind of herself as desirable, (the black and white.) This is further exaggerated into the high contrast picture of the girl with the "FLIRT" T-shirt. This is how she behaves. She "gets what she deserves." All around the image are semi-transparent film slides that depict both situations she's been involved in, willing and unwilling, (but as the primary point goes, what's the difference after the first violation?) as well as things she's thinking about to "get herself off." This is, I think, one of the most damaging aspects about our sexual response, that after a certain point, what we most despise becomes the only thing that will "get us off," and it is at this point that guilt and self-loathing start sky-rocketing. I saw this phenomenon at work with my friend (name deleted.) He took it very far. he felt physically insufficient in a number of ways, the "cute" girls never paid attention, he wanted them to suffer for it; eventually, he wants to become the girl that is suffering for it.
NS: Could you explain more?